The Anthony Ramos/Jasmine Cephas Jones breakup solidifies a Wife Guy theory.

Anthony Ramos – fan favorite star, worthy of fainting from critical hits like in the heights And Hamilton—He’s in the hot seat. After TikTokkers shared clips of him allegedly at a strip club getting close to a woman other than his beloved fiancée, Jasmine Cephas Jones, Ramos has taken to all social media with a crimson letter: cheater. Heartbroken. the fool. Perhaps worst of all, he turned into the worst kind of man – the fake wife.

The Wife Guy is nothing new in the world of celebrity gossip and in parasitic relationships born of being very online. Ramos has always been a great example of the genre: he and Cephas Jones met while working Hamilton In 2015, she got engaged in 2018, and has been cute and likable in public since day one. For someone who is thought to be so loving and lovable, and then (supposed) to commit a fundamental sin—not just cheating on his fiancée but cheating on his (metaphorically) wife Guy—is a uniquely embarrassing and infuriating insult to audiences who invest in many famous relationships that aren’t theirs. .

This vile episode made us realize that as much as the audience seems to love the wife of men, from Ramos to John Mulaney to Will Smith, we love to hate them just as much. What is the use of the title, if any? Or is it, perhaps, nothing more than a simple curse?

Recently, five of Slate’s biggest celebrity enthusiasts, gossip checkers, and relationship theorists gathered to discuss these and other investigative questions.

Rebecca Onion: I’m sure a man’s wife cannot exist without social media. Wife Guy is someone who publicly celebrates his wife as a person and his wife. Wife Guy makes his wife’s virtues a constant topic in public and posts things about home life. Guy’s wife is unable to say anything that seems realistic at all about marriage and relationships! It’s happier than it could ever have been true. Which is why ruptures are such a danger to him: When we see rips, we’re like, “I’m upset and I know it!!!”

Rachel Hampton: It’s impossible to talk about a guy’s wife without talking about Curvy Wife Guy, who defined the genre. Curvy Wife Guy went viral after an unnecessary long post on Instagram about how much he loves his wife despite the fact that she’s not a size 2. The key part of this post was that he was the bravest amongst men for his daring to love this sexy woman objectively, and while this mentality Not necessary for a man’s wife (Anthony Ramos, more importantly, doesn’t), I’d say 9 out of 10 guys too, like Curvy, ignore their wives while writing their own schmoopy posts about the family. life.

Rebecca: Thank you Rachel. This is an excellent point. Chris Pratt’s latest post about his wife Katherine Schwarzenegger – a post that was attacked (including in Slate) for some weird stuff about “healthy kids” – was a weird post in my eyes. The whole thing was a long line about how much he loves his wife because of all the things she does for him (while literally doing nothing), but the end result left me deeply embarrassed for Catherine. Likes, You take this from him? Do you live like this? An embarrassment. I know a lot of people didn’t see it that way, and I wish their husbands would post like this about them, but if my husband said that about me in public, I would wonder if something was going on behind the scenes. Like, protesting too much, too much?

Sam Adams: Since it’s a token in this chat Guy With a Wife, my understanding about The Wife Guy is that it’s small very Keen to make sure everyone knows how much he loves his little lady. Loving Your Wife: Good. This love performance for a largely invisible audience may or may not include said wife: a little more shakier. (For example, if you want your wife to know that you love her, are you just supposed to…tell her?) For reasons of a therapy session more than a group conversation, I have an almost pathological aversion to hollow gestures, to the point where sometimes they have to be. My push is towards the non-hollow type. But nevertheless, it does seem somewhat questionable when men need to make a big public display of what should just be the bedrock of marriage. Part of me is just thinking: what did you do? (To be fair, there are some men out there who seem to be at least deeply in love with their husbands and have no problem expressing it in public. Good for you guys. I hate you just a little bit.)

Julia Craven: Yes, this is my general assessment of the man wife as well. He’s doing the act of loving his wife for all to see, which is a bit weird and annoying! I’m glad a man loves his wife, as he should, but making sure everyone knows it? Yes! But, as Rachel and Rebecca have said, there is an element of neglecting their wives in a way that I think, inadvertently or unintentionally, degrades other women or even their wives. Everything is strange to me AF.

Rachel: I think we should leave room for the wife, the man who manages to do it right. Examples that come to mind are Joshua Jackson, who is married to Judy Turner Smith and… Actually that’s the only one I can think of. Do you have anyone else? I think, prior to their recent fall from grace, Anthony Ramos and John Mulaney would probably have qualified to be the rare good wife man. And this, in my opinion, caused the uproar of the news of their betrayal. Like the higher you rise past the mostly annoying kind of wife guy, the harder you fall.

Nadira Joffi: Certainly, and the most dangerous part about being a man’s wife is that there is no way to come back from being a man’s wife other than falling and falling hard. Once we wish to believe in a man’s idea, if he did not tell you enough, He really loves his wifeIt’s hard to see him as just another guy. We don’t do that Wants To see him as just another guy. He basically invited more people to the party: his wife, but also us as their friends.

Rebecca: A man’s wife is a dangerous game. Very dangerous. Russell Wilson? John legend? (Although this man’s wife attitude was fraught with in many respects, and had nothing to do with anything the legend did!) But many people try and fail.

Rachel: Oh, Russell Wilson is a good person.

rare: Let’s not forget the wife of the man that Chris Pratt was clearly trying to emulate but failed: Ryan Reynolds. As mentioned by Sam, Ryan Reynolds takes on the lovable and cynical asshole game to such perfection that it has not only given him the franchise of an entire movie but has also garnered the attention of Guy’s wife fans everywhere who have been eagerly waiting for him. His next hilarious story to his wife, Blake Lively.

Julia: Shout out to John Legend – he has a tough job. But, really, I think Guy’s wife works with Wilson and Legend because you can tell they get on with their wives really well and they don’t provide support. They really seem to be pillars of their wives and endeavors.

Sam: Rachel points out an important distinction, I think, between the wife of the men we invested in and the husbands of us men who are not. The reaction to Chris Pratt’s job seemed to be a uniform roosterJohn Mulaney and Anthony Ramos seem to have them together. I was rooting for these crazy kids! Their relationships were stories we’d been watching from afar for years, and each post was a little confirmation that things were going as planned. The day the internet learned the word parasite, people were pushing the idea that what happens in John Mulaney’s marriage is none of our business. But a men’s wife makes it our business, so it just feels like a personal touch when she’s not married.

rare: There is certainly something to be said about relativity here. I think what made John Mulaney and Anthony Ramos so effective as Wife of Men was that they bonded, especially John Mulaney with his self-critical sense of humor about his wife being in love with Timothée Chalamet and so on. For me, John Legend is the most rooster As Guy’s wife character when he writes songs like “All of Me,” but he was even more successful when Chrissy Teigen posted about him making her pancakes or really ordinary things. Chris Pratt’s Wife Guy recent posts are far from the deep end.

Rachel: I think the reaction to Chris Pratt’s post is partly due to the fact that at some point in the distant past a lot of people would have cheered and endorsed him in Anna Faris. Their split was the first crack in Pratt’s facade and most of them were downhill from there. Continuing to be a wife but for a different wife only makes rooster worse factor. If Curvy Wife Guy left his wife, I’d be like, Well, that makes sense. But Anthony Ramos cheats on Jasmine Cephas Jones hits differently.

Rebecca: Guy wife for a different wife!!!!! the worst.

Rachel: You might say that he is the wife of a man very close to the sun.

rare: …but should you? (I’m JK Rachelle I love you JK JK JK)

Julia: I wonder why it is so hard for me to bear a man’s wife to become a wife to a new wife. I don’t know if I take it so personally as it sounds –Oh my gosh, I have to watch this guy perform again for a new woman and I hope I won’t embarrass her too. But, again, I say I didn’t understand really She invested in how Jay-Z, America’s favorite post-scandal wife, would treat Beyoncé.

Rachel: To me, I think being a wife-man for the sake of a new wife only reveals that being a wife-man isn’t about the wife at all – it’s about doing your own good for influence. Which, even before I fall from grace, I know is what’s really going on, but it makes it all the more annoying when, despite my best instincts, I’m tricked into rooting Guy’s wife who turns out to be just another guy.

rare: And that’s really the part that makes the societal consequences of breaking Guy’s wife’s facade so much worse than the consequences of another man’s crimes: that we feel we They are played for fools. When in reality… all guys have the potential to be just another guy! It has nothing to do with us! But if we know somewhere deep down that it’s wrong, why do we allow ourselves to invest in the first place?

Julia: I think it’s because famous people and celebrities are usually interesting or ambitious in some way. And they sell us “perfection”, which is very easy to invest in.

rare: Great point, Julia. And it doesn’t help that this particular kind of wife perfection is something that’s sold to us at countless rom-coms, too. Which is funny, because I’m always watching those movies and I’m thinking, This Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal is so cute! But in fact, if someone walked through an airport to profess their love for me in front of hundreds of strangers, I would get on that plane and never look back.

Rebecca: What happened with Ramos makes it very clear that this “cowardly public proposition”, “goofy airport race”, “post-Christmas angry” approach to romance comes with its own risks. Wife of men in real life, beware. You only get one bite out of this particular apple, so make it count.

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