In a new article from a first-person perspective, Colton Haynes shares his experience navigating Hollywood as a gay teen and now a man.
The actor, 33, from MTV’s Teen Wolf And The CW’s Arrow, writing about his heartbreaking journey, coming to Los Angeles from Kansas “with confidence” but undercover to fit the mold of career success in the industry. He encountered frustrating experiences along the way – such as being trained to be less homosexual and directed to act out graphic sex scenes.
Haynes, who officially appeared in 2016, wrote in Eagle article. “But a lot of my decision makers are gay, so play this game! Now that I’m older and sober, I try to balance who I am with the non-original version of myself that I’ve invested in for years. I often wonder how different things could have been if I’d allowed me to be who I am when I moved to town: an optimistic kid who is confident about his sexuality.”
Haynes said that his first serious relationship was at the age of 14 with a man in his forties. That year, he began dancing at a gay bar in Wichita and “felt like at home there.” The following year, he got his first modeling agent, and he and his then-boyfriend, Jay, pitched for a gay magazine called xy. This brought him to Los Angeles, after graduating from high school, where he worked as a phone sex manager for a year. Then the owner of the management company, whom Hines called “Brad” for the story, showed interest in his potential acting.
Almost immediately, Brad told Hines, “We’re definitely going to have to change your behaviors,” saying that the way the gay teen spoke in public and stood up was very “theatrical”, which was “a gay icon.”
Brad invited him to an acting class, where his fellow famous actors were, including someone Hines calls “Ethan, whom you got to know from a popular TV show.” However, the instruction books were further humiliating.
“Not musical theatre!” It was his notes that Brad gave him, in front of everyone, after he had done the first scene. Once again, he felt the urge to hide himself.
The experience was humiliating in other ways, too. One of the class nights was a “stunt scene night” where they had to fully strip and act out a scene with a partner, giving Brad instructions. Before he and Ethan performed, the actress and actor recreated the illustrated sex scene of Halle Berry and Billy Bob Thornton from monster ball. He was already worried, then had to do his scene – completely naked – simulating sex with Ethan.
“I closed my eyes so I didn’t have to look at the audience,” he said. When it was over, “Of all the things that’ve happened to me in my life, I’ve never been disappointed.”
At the director’s insistence, Haynes obtained a military-style haircut, and was sent to hand the papers to a potential client—while wearing a “cowboy hat and Western shirt loosened”—to try to obtain the agent’s services. However, Haynes received feedback that the agent was not interested, so Brad said he finished working with Haynes.
“I’m sorry, but that doesn’t work. Your voice and your demeanor – they are still… gay,” Heinz was told. As he was leaving, Brad added that if he was tough on the money, he had a connection with someone Heinz could hook up with for a little while—business. And then he looked at the contact information and it was for “rentboy.com,” a site for sex workers.
Haynes said he knew that becoming an actor wouldn’t be easy, but he didn’t know that “the thing that made me so valuable in privacy — my obviously homosexual activity — was a responsibility because I tried to make my way in the industry.” Haynes set the scene at the time, midway through, “When casual homophobia was still a frequent streak in sitcoms, modern family The premiere wouldn’t take place until a few years after I arrived in L.A., the actors started appearing in public, and none of them looked like a straight-up romantic hero. There are still a few gay men in Hollywood who have come out of the closet.”
So Hines said he “did what I was told to do. I took lessons with a voice coach who had me talk while holding a highlighter between my teeth for the whole class so that when I took it out my notification was clear and clear. I practiced speaking with a note folded afterwards under my tongue to teach me how to make s She looks less abnormal, because her softness made me look gay.”
Weeks later, he booked his first role in an episode of CSI: Miami, And offers immediately followed by people who wanted to manage it. However, “I understood because it was explained to me over and over again – by directors, agents, media, executives, and producers – that the only thing standing between me and the career I wanted was that I was gay.” So he hid himself as he built a career out of youth television roles. He said his officials would “send cease and desist letters” to any websites that reappear on his old pages y Gay pix magazine photo shoot. When he was linked to Lauren Conrad, of hills Fame, advised him “not to deny our rumored relationship – it’s better to make the tabloids speculate about us.”
However, his concealment of the truth started to make him sick.
“My mental health deteriorated, and I became dependent on alcohol and pills,” he wrote. “When a doctor pointed out that my secret was making me sick, I knew he was right.”
When it came out, in 2016, he wrote, “By the way, the business has mostly dried up.” “When I was locked in, I beat straight guys to play straight roles, and I played them really well. Now, the only auditions I get are for gay characters, which are still sparse. Is it because I’m not very good? Maybe. But that didn’t stop me from booking roles before. It’s no different for the young gay actors I see appearing today, trying to make it happen in a system that wasn’t created for them.”
He’s written about those “mixed messages” of gay Hollywood actors, and how he’s asking where he’s at – personally and professionally – did he just get himself when he arrived in Hollywood rather than just hiding who he really was.